The Fringe Virgin

When writing this, it doesn’t feel right to add the ‘Sixty-third Covid Blog’ as I have in previous blogs written during and shortly after the pandemic. Although covid is still very much around, I don’t think it deserves the attention as it has claimed far too many lives and devastated our world enough.

I realise I haven’t blogged in what seems like forever, my last blog having been in November 2021.

If I am honest, I am not sure why? I have been writing but writing poetry and preparing for my first ever Edinburgh Festival Fringe, more commonly known as ‘The Fringe.’

With covid taking somewhat of a back seat, life and work has been incredibly busy and I want to write this blog because I love doing so, I didn’t want it to be a chore and so it too has taken a back seat, waiting for something worthy.

I have that now, something to share, to connect, something I found this summer. I found the best of humanity and at a time when I think I, and many others needed it most.

Several blogs ago I wrote about my visit to Edinburgh last summer, to take in the vibe of ‘The Edinburgh Fringe’, although there were very few in-person shows as most were online due to the pandemic but it did show me, it was possible.

My life has taken several twists and turns and through this, I refuse to live a life of what if? I don’t want to regret the decisions I didn’t make and so I set out to find a platform to perform at ‘The Fringe.’

I found this through the kindness of a stranger, one who had applied to the same organisation as myself. One of ‘The Free Fringe’ groups, these have been set up to help artists who are unable to pay the fees asked by the main platform at The Fringe.

With fees starting from £2,000 upwards for a venue, then add to that; accommodation costs, flights, petrol, food, printing (flyers and posters) unless you are a well established artist, it is out of the average amateur artist’s price range.

The Fringe was originally established so that ‘anyone and everyone’ could showcase their talent. However, this now seems to have been forgotten and so the one chance to perform is to seek a spot with ‘The Free Fringe.’ So many well known artists started this way and it remains an integral and vitally important, part of The Fringe.

Applications need to be made, proof of your work submitted and not all ‘Free Fringe’ groups are equal. Many seem to only accept comedy or have hidden charges.

Having been rejected by one such organisation, a fellow reject (my kind stranger) messaged me with alternatives, The PBH Free Fringe among them, who were then gracious enough to give me a chance!

This organisation is a member of The Free Fringe, who do ask for a small donation (rightly so) as they are unfunded and rely heavily on artists and the public’s generosity. They supply you with everything needed; venue, P.A. System, microphones and a venue captain, should you run into any problems.

The one thing I love, is that PBH is a collective, everyone promotes each other’s shows through the handing out of ‘The Wee Blue Book.’ The PBH bible, listing all the free shows at the fringe, along with your own show flyer.

I found I really enjoyed this, talking to people and explaining my show. Not one person was rude, just politely said ‘No thank you’ if they did not want to take a book or flyer.

This experience was made all the richer with help from two close friends who had driven seven hours to watch me perform and my daughter, who surprised me by flying in unexpectedly, to watch my first and second show.

I was a mixture of excitement and fear for my first performance. With over 3,500 shows, the saying goes ‘Two is a crowd in Edinburgh’ the amount of performances at anyone time is mind blowing. I wasn’t even sure if I would have an audience. It is common for artists to play to small audiences and to experience ‘No shows’ as there are a plethora of performances running at the same time!

However, as well as my friends and family I did have an audience larger than expected, my heart and confidence soared.

Before I set off on my journey to Edinburgh I visited a local craft stall which sold crystals, not usually my thing but I noted there was a bowl of ‘Tiger’s Eye’ stones which promoted the properties of ‘Confidence.’ I explained that I was performing my first ever show at The Fringe and the owner refused to take payment, she told me to pop the small stone during my performance into my bra!

It was the beginning of an abundance of kindness shown throughout this whole experience.

Having my friends and daughter there, meant that they were able to note the comments made in the audience. Although many were kind enough to show their appreciation verbally as well as financially and their generosity overflowed.

The latter comment was so poignant for me as I really feel I was talking about issues that need to be heard. I am unsure where this boldness comes from? Perhaps it is age and experience, I know the new generation of young women, my daughters, friends and colleagues have inspired me. Other women poets too, demanding to be listened to.

I shared subjects I would never have dreamed of sharing when I was younger, somehow I have become brave. Life experience has taught me to be unafraid, the harsh and difficult paths we all unexpectedly take at times, have shown me that sometimes we need to take risks, to speak out, to be heard.

I did feel confident, even though the Tiger’s Eye stone was unintentionally left in my bag, that one small gesture I feel, had been enough, enough to install its magic.

I have learned so much, not just as a performer but that life is meant for living, that the milk of human kindness does exist. I still haven’t come down from the ceiling and I’m not sure I’m ready yet to be grounded. I am still basking in the glory of all three shows, I dipped my toes this year but if they will have me, I’m ready to be fully immersed next summer.

Whenever I earn money from my art, I like to put it back. When I wrote my novella, I commissioned a local artist and friend to paint something for me, this was no exception.

On my way to each venue, I walked along ‘Leith Walk’ becoming a part of its colourful and vibrant life. When I saw this watercolour and collage, I couldn’t resist. The artist was wonderful, she too displaying kindness, handing me free samples of her work.

I love that part of the houses are made from a novel and it will remind me of my ‘First Ever Fringe.’ I was told it would be something I wouldn’t ever forget, it isn’t, it wasn’t, it really was something fabulously special.

The camaraderie between artists has been so beautiful, the WhatsApp and Facebook groups, the emails, all so encouraging and crammed full of benevolence. One particular group’s messages, made me smile everyday:

“I believe my partner may have left his wolf puppet at the venue”

“ I’ve retrieved it, and popped it in the bucket by the door”

Where else would you receive the above comments? Get well wishes were also shared, when sadly shows were cancelled, covid once again, rearing its ugly head.

The messages of encouragement when returning:

“You’ve got this!”

“Have a good one”

“Break a leg!”

The very best of humanity, the connections of life and of love, for our fellow men.

My show was and is, entitled ‘Enough’ I think it’s one of the many things I have learned, that I am and that we are.

Sometimes it is difficult to remember, especially as women, we are always our own worst enemies. This was the final poem of my set…

I know I am richer for this experience, invigorated, with a renewed zest for life and my heart a little fuller. It is true that you will only ever have one ‘First Fringe’ but I am so grateful I was able to share it with my family and my friends and I intend to revel in its glow, for as long as possible!

“Haste me back” 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Joy M Louisa xx