Moments

Sunday and the twenty-fourth Covid blog.

Thinking about my blog this morning reminded me that my life and our lives, are made up of moments.

This may seem obvious but perhaps it is something we take for granted and it is not until we lose these moments or we reflect, that we truly begin to understand how monumental they are in our lives.

The ones we wait for, the serendipitous moments, the important life changing moments, events that happen in an instant.

I have blogged about waiting for my moment and finally it arrived, the moment when I hugged my girls.

It was worth waiting for every second. There were many tears and a sense of never wanting to let go. My empty arms were rewarded and the ache I have been feeling, finally, ebbed away into the darkness. I have missed holding them more than I had ever imagined possible.

The reason it had taken so long in our socially distanced bubble is that we refused to hug each other separately. We have always strived to treat each other equally, we are a trio and this act of love was without exception.

This week also saw my return to work and school and once again this was a day full of moments. I am lucky to work in a department in which we are not just colleagues but friends and it was clear we had all missed each other as the usual banter and jovial teasing flowed and once again my heart, our hearts, were full.

When our pupils returned, there was a moment that took me totally by surprise.

A boy whom I actually taught two years ago and who now, whenever we meet (usually in the corridor) I always greet with “Hiya trouble” on seeing me, shouted my name incredibly loudly to make sure I would notice him. When I replied with my usual comment the smile that appeared on his face was one of the biggest I have ever seen, and it absolutely floored me.

Despite the strangeness of this new normal, the sanitising of hands as they enter the classroom, the spraying of desks and equipment, learning the new one way systems, I have loved hearing the hustle and bustle of life and listening to their stories of triumph.

When meeting my new tutor, we discussed the things we had learned during lockdown. A boy proudly told me he can now cook a curry and lasagne from scratch, another had perfected a skateboard move and a girl proclaimed she had discovered and watched the series ‘Friends’ for the first time and so naturally we shared our love of favourite characters.

It is this I have missed, life’s small but important moments.

A chance conversation with someone whose life is connected to the arts made me realise something special this week. We both share the love and passion of theatre, she and her husband had visited a theatre in regards to work and they had both been overcome with emotion. I understood completely and I know when I step back into a theatre for the first time I too will feel exactly the same.

This week I received an email about a theatre event in October asking that should it go ahead (dependant on Covid Committee approval) could I confirm whether I needed a dressing room. This made me feel slightly like Beyoncé having never been asked this before. A chair, and bottle of water provided by myself is the usual standard.

This conversation made me understand why last week, with my heart beating ridiculously loudly in my chest when I stood on that stage, despite the rain and wind, I forgot those cameras, the cold, the fact that I looked like a drowned rat. I now realise why my nerves unusually disappeared and such happiness filled my entire being.

There was one simple reason, the reason it has always been, from the very ‘moment’ I stepped onto a stage for the very first time…

I was home. 🎭

Have a wonderful week and stay safe.

Joy xxx