Letters, Idioms, Rabbis and Rabbits

Sunday and the twenty-first COVID blog.

There are days when I begin to write my blog and I know exactly what I want to say and others that I am unsure as to whether it will be interesting enough or indeed even relevant. It does not mean that I have nothing to say, more that I am pondering whether it has merit.

However, we should always remember that our words have a reason, they may not necessarily change the world but our voice is important, to us and to those around us. Mohandus Karamchand Gandhi said:

“Whatever you do in life will be insignificant but it is important that you do it.”

So, I figure my words will resonate with someone no matter how irrelevant I feel they might be.

At the beginning of August I wrote in my blog that I had sent an overdue letter, I then extolled the virtues of letter writing. Once, this form of communication was the only way possible to keep in contact in our world and so it was incredibly important and popular but now in our modern society it seems it is a dying art.

One of my friends who reads my blog agreed and suggested that we start a writing circle. This suddenly felt as if we were Victorian ladies and the prospect delightfully wonderful!

I have since written two letters as we are currently a circle of three. I have already felt the joy of opening my first letter. There really is something special about the writing and receiving of hand written correspondence knowing that each word contains the love of friendship.

This week I visited My best friend’s mum and dad and my reason for writing the letter that I had mentioned in my previous blog. I wanted to ask when would be best time for me to visit. I wanted to explain in detail the circumstance of an event in which I will be participating in memory of their daughter.
A small socially distanced fundraiser for Cancer Research as the charity has lost so much money due to lockdown, yet another COVID casualty.

This charity should have benefitted from £1.7 million in sponsorship from ‘The London Marathon’ this year as well as all the other fundraising events that have now been cancelled.

When I visited my best friend’s mum and dad the first thing she said to me was “It was so lovely to receive that letter.” We forget, that despite all the incredible technology we have in our world, it is the simple pleasures that make our hearts sing. Reading those messages of love, words that another human being has taken time to write, truly does makes a difference.

When I visit we talk about the past, and I mentioned how I had recently found my brother’s grave. This leant itself to the subject of burials; my visit to Highgate Cemetery, the history of its Victorian traditions and the interesting facts I had discovered. This in turn led to a further discussion on Jewish Burials.

My friends dad’s mother was Jewish although his father was a gentile. He talked about how his auntie had told him to wear an old jacket to the funeral when his mother died, this being that the Rabbi would cut a piece out of his jacket to represent the release of the tie to his mother and to acknowledge grief.
This made me feel a little sad, it also made me think of my own mother

Towards the end of my visit my friend’s mother then ‘insisted’ that I take a piece of her china home with me before I left. An ornament, because no wants them anymore she said and she wanted me to have something. Actually, she wanted me to take several pieces of china but I managed to negotiate one small item.

Today we don’t seem to have the space in our houses anymore, too out of place, a little kitsch maybe, we don’t have room in our minimalist houses and lives but it felt important.

I chose a little ‘Bunnykins’ ornament mainly because it made me laugh and it was exactly the sort of quirky thing my friend loved. I also know she would have approved of my choice, but mainly I like it because it was given with love.

Obviously all rabbits have towels, a rubber duck, wear bathrobes and shoes?

As I left, I was again reminded of my own mother when I was given cakes to take home, a common generational family occurrence we pass down from mother to daughter, my girls now they are grown do the exactly the same, it is special and beautiful because it comes from a place of loving.

I am someone who listens to the radio all of the time and last Sunday one of my favourite presenters who shares his anecdotes and old fashioned wisdom repeated an idiom I had not heard before. This expression was read aloud through a listener’s story. A story of two people who had finally met after a journey filled with obstacles and hardship. He remarked: “It just goes to show, every pan has a lid.”

This saying stayed with me, I thought it was simplistically beautiful and as always when I reflected on my visit and the memories it triggered, memories of both laughter and sadness it then meant that I needed to write them down.

It is inevitable that we will at some point in our lives be without our lids. It will always feel odd but it is essential to remember that despite the lack of a lid a pan still works. Perhaps not quite as well for a time, there will always be something missing but it is still viable even if sometimes it feels impossible. We carry on though we never forget, we know that nothing could ever replace our original lid, because they matched perfectly and we loved them.

There seems to be so many analogies regarding cooking utensils: “If ifs and buts were pots and pans they’d be no work for tinkers hands.” “A watched pot never boils” “Out of the frying pan into the fire.”
I love idioms, I love the funny and sometimes macabre history behind them.

When I was a little girl and I had been told off and when my face clearly showed it’s contempt, my mum would often say “Your face is enough to turn the milk sour.” I would like to proclaim here and now, doesn’t work.

I tried it once when I was small, I stared at the milk bottle for a fair amount of time but neither my mum nor my dad flinched when they drank it in their tea.

So here’s another one “Enjoy the dog days of August.” Despite the current relief of rain I believe there are still a few days ahead of sunshine in the near future to look forward to.

And, if anyone has actually managed to turn the milk sour with a withering look, please, do let me know.

Stay Safe,

Joy xxx