‘Hame’

It is the end of week twelve and my COVID blog has returned to the sunshine writing of Sunday mornings.

This again has been a difficult and hateful week. The media has fulled so much anger, full to the brim it seems with unkindness and propaganda.

I have continued to look for flowers, they seem to be a little elusive but they are there, nestling between the cracks of humanity.

One of the most precious things we desire as human beings is time and even though we have been given time in the most heartbreaking and challenging way it has given us a unique chance.

A chance to think, to reconnect with ourselves, our family and our friends, no matter how socially distanced that may be.

Time on our hands to reflect, has us thinking of our past, our present and our future.

I am lucky to have friends of all ages and gender. One of my younger friends has a beautiful old soul something I was always told I possessed when I was young. I feel I am finally catching up with mine.

There have been a flurry of messages between us both with similar thoughts during this pandemic, thoughts of the past and how this time has flooded our minds with memories.

Despite the upcoming ‘Father’s Day’ in England, it has been my Mother who has been on my mind recently.

My Dad is still in touch with one of my Mother’s cousins they send cards and talk over the phone occasionally, despite the fact that neither can hear one another. My Father had been talking about their shared past times.

My Dad will be 90 next week, he loves technology and he uses social media. This made me think that my Mother’s cousin (my first cousin once removed) might be too?

Unfortunately he wasn’t, but my second cousin (his son) was and I found him far easier than expected, it is odd that I had not tried before, however, I think time plays an important part in all our lives.

My Mother was born in Aberdeen in Scotland and was immensely proud of her Scottish heritage and I was very much brought up to acknowledge my Gaelic and Celtic blood.

I lived a life surrounded by this dialect and when I read the printed word or hear its sound, I remember how much I miss my Mum and family. The Doric, the rhythm and harmony of her voice.

When I messaged my second cousin just before lockdown, I was presented with the kindest and warmest of greetings. As we caught up a little, there were phrases in his messages that tripped me up, simply because I hadn’t heard them for so long and they felt like home.

Memories were shared, recalling the last time we were together for a family wedding, this being over thirty years.
I was sent a photo of a time when we were very small my cousin used a poignant and timeless phrase “We’ve lived a life since we once saw one another.” We really have, as human beings we remain in our own immediate life bubbles.

My Mum is the lady in the checkered square coat next to my Great Auntie Lizzie (the lady with the glasses) and my cousin’s Grannie. Me in front with the ridiculous grin and next to me, my second cousin Edwin whom I messaged, arms crossed and a cheeky smile.

I remembered this day so clearly, we were on holiday in Scotland as always when I was growing up and we were visiting family. We then visited another part of the clan, after this photo was taken.

While visiting our other relatives, I had kissed their dog. I recall so vividly and fondly this moment due to the incident that occurred directly after.
My Auntie Lizzie was affronted and appalled!
When we got back to her home, she washed my mouth out with soap and made me spit (several times) into the sink!

During these messages, it was as if time stood still and two tiny words suddenly made me feel very emotional, a simple phrase “Oh me!” these were such significant words of memory, my childhood language.
My Mother, who is now no longer here and I wished so very much that she was.

Since our messages and this lockdown time of reflection, these memories have been swirling around and yesterday, I finally completed my poem.

The past can often become our present, it can also become our future, if we all look forward in the right way.

I am hoping we all find sunflowers, they follow the sun and grow in it’s warmth, something our world needs, so very much.

Reconnect with life and love and people, it matters.

Stay Safe,

Joy xxx

(Hame is Scottish for home)